Harry Potter and the Love Octagon
by harry poppins
Summary: Percy and Filch have kept a secret for so longbut how much longer will the secret remain a secret?Dumbledore has hidden feelings which are bound to be relieved soon enoughbut what happens when the truth is clear? Will the end come for the Great Albus?


Once upon a time in Mexico, there was a hidden castle where young magicians and witches went to study the art of magic, without the knowledge of muggles.

Percy Weasley was a prefect at this school, and he was gay. Lately, however, he has been finding himself fantasizing about Professor Mcgonagall because he thought her intelligence really turned him on, that is the real reason why he dropped transfiguration for his n.e.w.t.s.

After the difficulty of coming out, Percy didn't want to take it back to say he was straight, but he couldn't help the way her hair was tightly tucked into a bun, and the way her body was shaped like a fanta bottle, and how her glasses fit perfectly on her upturned button nose.

Percy shook his head. Having straight thoughts again? He angrily rushed down the marbe staircase of the castle, in a hurry to get to Argus Filch's office. Whenever Percy finds himself checking out Hermione, Umbridge or Cho, he simply rushes to Filchs office for a sesh. A sex ed session that is. It snaps him out of it and reminds him of the real reason why he was gay.

Knock knock!

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT YOU MOTHER FUCKING BiTCHES IM FUCKING TRYING TO FUCKING READ THE DAILY FUCKING PROPHET MOTHERFUCKERS" a voice screamed from the other side of the door. Percy took a step back, shocked. The door swung open and Filch grinned.

"Sorry bout that Ron, I didn't realise it was you" yes, Percy was guilty of pretending to be his younger brother. He couldn't let it get around that he was fucking Argus Filch, the caretaker! This whole time Argus has thought he has been relieving Ron Weasley of any sexual tension, when it had been Percy aall along.

"Yes, hey Argus. How are you on this fine fine fine fine fine day?" Percy asked, walking inside the cold dark room and turning on the television.

"Omg, neighbours is on! Turn it up, Ron, while I sweep the floors." Filch said, grabbing the broomstick. He slid the broomstick between his legs and ran around the office.

Percy raised his eyebrows and paused the tv to watch Filch riding the broomstick.

"You're such a witch, I want to fuck you" Percy exclaimed, dropping the remote and approaching Argus, who was now hollering through the air.

Filch dropped the broomstick and grinned, showing his black teeth to Percy. Percy swallowed some vomit that was exploding through his stomach and gave filch a nice sloppy wet dog kiss just as Professor Mcgonagall walked in.

She screamed so loud that Dumbledore woke up.

Now, before I countinue on with this story let me tell you all about Dumbledores lifelong crush on Mcgonagall. Yes, the real reason Albus employed her in the first place was because he had the worlds largest crush on her. Her posture was sexy, her legs were long and her boobies were larger than the titanic.

Hearing his love screamed caused Dumbledore to rush down the stairs and into Filchs office before he realised that he had forgotten to throw his robe on. Yes, the Great Albus Dumbledore was standing naked in front of a shocked Minerva Mcgonagall and what appeared to be a homosexual couple making out. Of course, this caused an immediate erection.

Minerva snapped her head towards Dumbledore and quickly looked away, embarassed. Dumbledores face turned a shade of blue and he quickly grabbed the first thing he could find to cover himself. Which happened to be Minervas ass!

"AAAH! I'm so sorry!" Dumbledore screamed, letting go of her immediately and desperately searching for something around the room to cover his body with. There was nothing! Absolutaly nothing!

Percy remained white as a ghost, sure that Mcgonagall was disgusted with his homosexual acts, and wanting to get as far away from Filch as he could. However the situation was too tense, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to hide his shock, horror and embarassment.

"Ok, what the fuck is going on in here?" Snape bellowed, walking in slowly. As he realised what was going on, he felt like walking out of the room again.

"Oh my goodness, Severus!" Dumbledore mumbled, holding his hands down to cover himself. His face was hot with embarassment as he felt Snapes eyes on him.

Snape reached for his robes and untied them, handing them to the old headmaster who nodded gratefully as he pulled them on.

"So, whats going on? I feel so left out." Snape remarked, moving further inside the room, making eye contact with Filch who looked down embarassed.

"I just walked in on Percy and Argus making out!" Minerva exclaimed in disbelief.

"PERCY? WHO THE MOTHERFUCK IS PERCY AND WHAT KIND OF FUCKING FAGGOT NANCY NAME IS THAT!" Filch scoffed, patting Percy on the head.

Minerva looked away, and didn't answer. Dumbledore dissapointedly looked at Percy and told him to go back up to his common room.

"But sir-I…shouldn't Mcgonagall give me a detention or something?" Percy asked, hopping off Filch's lap as fast as possible. Minervas mouth dropped open, a student asking for a detention?

"NO PERCY, YOU ARE TO GO UPSTAIRS NOW!" Snape yelled, drawing out his wand. Mcgonagall reached out her hand to back him away as she looked back at Percy.

"Severus, why don't you go back to your dungeon and let me take care of Weasley? Albus, you can go back to bed." Mcgonagall reached out her hand for Percy to take and he happily held her hand as they walked out of the office. Needless to say, Dumbledores erection was gone by now, he was far too angry at Percy.

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End file.
